I give up!

So,

For the past two weeks or so I have been thinking about nothing except having this baby.
We are all so ready for her. We are tired of the hurry up and wait.
We have tried EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK--think...
Castor oil...
Membranes stripped...
And all the other ones that I will not type here--Hey mama. :)

Every evening I have contractions, and several of these I have thought, this is it.
These contractions are pretty strong.
But no...

The main reason I even care is that I would love to have my body just do this on its own.
The past two...that is what happened.
A good, strong labor with no Drs putting needles and IVs and God only knows what else into me.
All of that stuff makes me feel --claustrophobic.
I am more scared of all of that than I am just hurting a bit.

But, if baby E. does not come by Tues...all of that hoping goes out the window.
B/C on Tues. my favorite Dr. is on call, and there is a possibility that they might just break my water and induce labor.
This means..pitocin
constant fetal monitoring
no walking around
and probably a c-section--if the labor "fails to progress"

All of this sounds just about as a appealing to me as being tortured. :(
But hopefully the end result will be a healthy baby. :)