Thursday, January 25, 2018

The mom tribe

over the course of being a mother, which is coming up on 13 years now, I have realized that the universe really does have my back.  One manifestation of this blessing is the mom tribe.  Over time I have realized that most of my fellow mothers have my back, and I have theirs.
The mom tribe could be defined as a very loose collection of {friends} who also happen to be moms of children who are around the same age as mine.
The use of the fancy parentheses is special, and deserves an explanation.  {Friends} means--we don't have to be besties.
we don't have to run in the same social circles
go to the same church, 
vote the same way,
buy the same stuff,
have the same amount of money in the bank,
be the same color....
We are moms.  We see eachother, we know what an 8 part day is like, and we are all rocking the title, "mom" the best way we know how.
I see members of my mom tribe at work, at all sporting events, at the dance school, at church, at any social event in our town (parades and such), --even the grocery store, or Wal-Mart when I really need some kind of calming treatment to even survive the trip!
Members of my mom tribe have helped me find social activities for my very shy middle schooler.  I will directly quote this member, as what she said was a gem, "We moms of shy girls have to look out for one another!"  That was when she let me invite my child in on a social gathering.  Even gave her rides to and fro.  
They have selflessly taught my children in bible school during the summer.  Selflessly= a lot of work crafting for the reward that can only be sufficient if it is a heavenly one.
Calmed me down during days when all seems to be unraveling around me and nothing lines up just right (like I thought it would when I left the house at 7:20).
They have been my back-ups at sporting events.  There is one member who my children know is the "go-to"  i.e.--"if I have to leave the pool, who do you find, kids?"  This person knows when my children are supposed to swim in events at swim meets and she will go get them...she has one child, and I have three.
These mothers have spend hours giving me advice that comes in fleeting moments, but just at the right time.    There are so many of them and just recently (as in this week), I have started to refer to us as a mom tribe.  
You see one of the members of my mom tribe passed away last Sunday.  She has one child the same age as my oldest, and one who is around the age of my youngest.  One summer she taught all three of my toddlers in Bible school.  I knew she had cancer.  We talked about her cancer.  I gave her a hug in December when our girls were dancing at a beautiful ballroom class formal dance.  All the grace and beauty of the night led me to know that I needed to hug her that night.  It was momentous for me to see all those beautiful children dancing together....the ones we have watched since pre-school.  I knew it was momentous for her too.  I could feel it.  Thank God I could, and thank God I hugged her.  Her cancer returned, and she told me all about it at the pool at the end of the summer at the pool one day. One of the members of my mom tribe has gone.  Her two girls have the other members of the mom tribe upon whom they can depend, but not their own mama.  When I was walking through the line at the funeral I realized that I really don't even know her husband.  I know his name.  I have seen him at the pool.  I was IN THE LINE!  You know what I said?  I told him, "your wife was a dear member of my mom tribe."  Then my voice cracked.  I also explained the mom tribe to her parents by complimenting their daughter and all her kindness, wisdom, and grace.  
Today, another treasured member of my mom tribe had to totally calm me down and fix a problem when my youngest forgot the delicate dance that is after school activities planning.  I guess she could hear the angst in my voice, and she just fixed it.  The sentence started something like this.."I tell ya what..." and ended with problem solved.  
I am going to start blogging again, b/c over the course of the last month blog posts have been writing themselves in my head and I realize that the only way to honor this is to post it, to write, to {blog}.  Enjoy firends!  I might share of facebook, and i might not.  This has not been determined yet.

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