Friday, November 6, 2009

In praise of mom jeans....

You know the ones.
THE ONES THAT COME UP TO YOUR WAIST!!!

I am not sure who in the world (about 10 years ago) decided that all women should have to choose from a stock of jeans that are ALL DESIGNED FOR BOYS!!!

Most of the women I know have CURVES I am not making a euphemism for fat either---I am saying we have hips and a waist!!

Well...oh designers of jeans everywhere...the hips are great for HOLDING UP THE PANTS!!

If you make the jeans come up to just above the pubic bone with a one inch long zipper--
THE F--(NOT GONNA CUSS) JEANS FALL OFF!!!

Since about graduate school--all the jeans i encounter are designed this way.
So, if you notice, most women walk around all the times hoisting up their jeans.
This is super irritating and we would not have to do it if our damn jeans came up about two or three more inches and our hips could hold them up!!! ahhh!!

Right now I am wearing size 12 hand me down levis from a friend. They were free.
BUT my whole muffin top will pop out and the jeans will fall off--unless I wear a belt to hold them up and i have to cinch the belt to a point where all my fat is squeezed and i look like a sausage --BUT
I would rather cinch my fat than subject all of those around me to looking at my butt crack each time I have to bend over or stoop down.

As soon as I am back to my right size---I am going to find some
MOM JEANS!!
You know the ones...the ones that come up to almost the waist--that take advantage of the curve below the waist to hold them up!!!
I think I spied some at Land's End or something...

You know--when that baby got run over by the train the other day???
You know what the mom had stopped to do ???
PULL HER JEANS UP!!!!

1 comment:

Bethany said...

Sorry I can't comment much. I'm too busy hiking up my jeans and looking for a fat-cinching belt. Talk about killing the post-partum body image! Jeans that squeeze it all out the top make me feel awful! Good luck finding mom jeans. They are rapidly disappearing from society. I would direct you to my mom's closet - but even SHE is wearing low-rise! I do love some low-rise... if I had the belly to go with them...
;-) Kohl's has some good ones - cool, higher up, but not too mom-ish (enough to hold it all in) head to G-ville!