Saturday, November 27, 2010

The one I want...

There is a little girl at school.
She is pitiful.
I want her.
I want her to come home with me and I want her to be my child.
Last year, everyone knew this, and an incident happened that was sort of a
{straw that broke the camel's back} for DSS--which means
something TERRIBLE happened at her house.
You all might remember the story about when I went to the house
where all the little boys in diapers came out barefooted to greet me--four of them--
in their diapers.in November, in the cold!!.these are her little nephews and her little brothers..
I want her to be mine.
I love her.
In the night I wake up and I worry about her.
There is an interesting story.  Her mother and father both live in the house.
They have no bath tub..but they are bathed. (in the sink I guess?)
They sleep on dirty mattresses  in the hall--I have seen the mattresses.
They have a closet with a lock on the {inside} to hide in for when bad guys come.  She tells me
all about it.
And the time when the Police took them to the hotel--so they would be safe--and they got
ice in their sodas...

When the social worker called me and said, "were you serious when you said you wanted ___ and ____?"
I had to say, "yes, but what i want and what I can actually do, are two very different things..i have a husband and three children, and almost no money, and one bathroom!"  She said, "okay."  No judgments--I could tell...
Then she said to her husband, "We are taking these girls..."  Just like that a STATEMENT.  No request.
No question.
DSS said no.  They said if she could not take all of the children...she could not take two.
So there they all sit.
It breaks my heart.
I want her.
I want her to be mine.
She knows. :)
I do not tell her this... that would be confusing and cruel.  But we all love on her.
We buy her books, clothes.
All the buying in the world, on our part, cannot change what will become of her....

4 comments:

Bethany said...

Ohhhh...this is sad and bittersweet. I remember the post you're talking about.
And I know that "wanting" feeling. It is the most empty feeling in the world, to have an open heart for a thing that cannot happen.

Laura Smith said...

Oh my goodness Susan...so hard! Its the hardest thing to me about being an educator! I want her to be yours! I'll pray!

A Beautiful Mess said...

Susan....please talk to a social worker. What I am going to say may sound awful to some but I had no idea until we started exploring adoption....When you take children in from the foster care system the state will provide you with $$ to care for the child including medicare etc. If you choose to adopt a child through from the state...you continue to receive a stipend, the child continues to get medical care from the state, the state will also provide tuition or costs for dance, soccer etc. if it determined to have a therapeutic benefit.
The biggest obstacle is not money...but if you and your husband and kids are able to adjust to additional children who will need a tremendous amount of love and support.

ask a social worker.

A Beautiful Mess said...
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