Wednesday, November 16, 2011

VBI--the term I have coined

for when we {overworked mothers and wives}have
Very Bad Incidents.
I will give you an example of a Very Bad Incident:
Let's just say someone has a kid who ...--well..maybe I should not give that one..
Let's just say that something like the car place incident happened to {a person}
feel free to fill in your mommy name there, and well, you went off..
Let's say it was really inappropriate what you did...
I did not do that btw--I did not have a VBI--that day. :)
I did have one today.
So here is today's example:
Elena had her allergy shot appt. that she has every three weeks.
I took her to the doctor--waited 30 minutes and got back to the shot room.
I knew beforehand that there would be a new nurse...I knew this
What I did not know is that she would be the ding bat mousey mouse lady
who feels perfectly comfortable acting insecure and clueless at her job. :)
I did not know that...nope..
Until the lady had the personality of an emery board!!!
And she kept looking at me, and looking back at her
three ring binder, and looking at me..and back at the binder..
(That binder is not going to give this damn shot woman) ;).
Then she asked Elena what she had for lunch.
People who get these shots are not supposed to eat certain things
on shot day.--It can get a bit ridiculous--
So, Elena said, "Zebra cakes" in her wee little Elena voice...
and the woman goes...
{DEATH STARE} DID YOU KNOW?  YOU DID SIGN THE SHEET--{more flipping of the book} YOU AGREED NOT TO GIVE CHOCOLATE (more staring)...
So, I am sure you all know what I did--what any totally confused person would do..
First I told her--That is a drizzle of chocolate, have you even seen it?  it is probably not really even chocolate ...Look of confusion, and "you gotta be kidding me..!!
So then I asked her, "Are you saying to me that you are not giving her the shot today?"
"Yes!" she says--no voices were ever raised--these were two ladies in the Dr.s office..OKAY!!??
Then the VBI occurred...
I grabbed Elena off the exam table and said, "Come on!  This is crazy!  We are certainly not going to be doing THIS AGAIN.  Elena from now on if they ask that, just tell em you ate saltines and water!!"--
Yep, I am embarrassed to say--that is what I did.
I know what it looks like when people do this--every now and then, someone does it to me..
But when the VBI occurs--well, there is no caring--nope!
Then I went over to Andy's dad's office--got Elena started there--with paperwork and all, and
that is where our good ole--common sense --nurse is--and boo yah! problem solved..
EXCEPT- I still had to go back to the peds office and get the vials of serum and the allergy shot
protocol sheets from dingbat lady.
Total and utter VBI walk of shame...
My Mama DEFINITELY taught me better than that!
She is the queen of a temper tantrum--but NEVAH!! EVAH!! IN PUBLIC.
I mean I am sure that lady knows me somehow.
But in that moment all I could think is --I am so tired.
I have waited--this is on my checkoff list, and you are an
obstacle in my freakin path lady--mousey ding bat head--over
a DRIZZLE of FAKE CHOCOLATE on a (bleepity bleep!!) Zebra cake!!!
So there you go.

Bethany has explained the tendency to have the VBI--I think
old men and about to get oldish ladies are extra prone to these.
There is science behind it...
go check out Dr. Oz. :)

1 comment:

Bethany said...

LOL - VBI (perfect term} walk of shame!!! Love it. I had a minor VBI at the dentist office, and... we changed dentists. The receptionist fussed at me b/c Phoenix was... being Phoenix. I was obviously trying to contain and control him, but damn! They were late with our THREE child appts, and well, time was up. Luckily, Rick went to get all our records, so I did have to do the Walk of Shame. HA!