Sticks

I am going to rant for a bit...
Today I put on the maternity pants that I ordered online--b/c we don't have them here!! except at Wal-m@rt. ;(
So, I bought some, obviously I am a slow learner.
Have I forgotten how hard it has been to amass a stash of maternity clothes that are half way decent?
Why in the he!! did I take my whole tub/stash of maternity clothes to the g00dwill last summer? (I was tired of baby stuff, I also gave all of that to a cousin)
You have no idea how I am lamenting the loss of my maternity lev!s--which apparently they do not make anymore!!! AHHHH!!!
So, I put the pants on and ...
Well, my temper was ignited.
The d@mn things were made for people with stick legs.
You know--sticks..no matter what rides atop the sticks..their legs are always sticks.
Well, dear designers of maternity wear, some people have BEyoncees Okay?
Now, my thighs are the only things holding the pants in any position, b/c the crotch of the pants sags!!
We laughed b/c I did (instinctively) exactly what Victor does when he gets mad, and putting on tight clothes or hard dress clothes is one thing that infuriates him, I started to pull at the clothes and I made the Victor mad face (now we know exactly where he got it).
Damn it y'all! It does not pay to be short sighted. Make sure someone is snipped before you lose the maternity stash....
I guess I will go to the G00dwill and see if any of my stuff is still there???
I already bid on some on eb@y--but ebay does not work for me--some eb@y nerd always swoops in at the last minute and pays a penny more and steals my sh!t.

Okay...I am off to take off these god forsaken leg squeezers and get in bed.