The other day I was driving home and I was thinking about how it seems like women have this burden of being the thoughtful ones. Almost every woman I know spends a good amount of her time/organizational skills/money being "thoughtful." They keep calendars of every birthday in the family, they keep card organizers, they really ponder if gifts they buy are "good enough" for whatever occasion.
I have almost made a complete decision not to participate. I do not have this calendar. In any given year if I decide to send a card--I will. If I see something cool for someone, I will buy it, if I have some money. This rebellion has filled me with guilt at times. My sister in law--the perfect, thoughtful woman. This has made me feel guilty.
Half the people we do all this stuff for happen to be men. Fathers, brothers, sons, boyfriends, guy friends..grandfathers etc....on and on.
I have never, and I really mean never, known a man who was "thoughtful." This does not mean that they do not love people. I know the men who love me love me. My daddy has always taken the best care of all of our family, Andy is the best friend and husband I could have ever wished to marry and I know he loves me. BUT no men that I know keep lists of birthdays. They do not buy cards. (Andy buys me gifts for certain occasions--but he does not extend formal "thoughtful" gestures to others).
I actually thought, "I bet my Daddy could not tell anyone any of our birthdays"
This does not make me have a chip on my shoulder, I have just decided to handle my thoughtfulness the manly way. I am not going to send out cards, unless I want to. If I want to buy you a $100 dollar scarf one year and forget your birthday for five, well I will. :) I might have a lot of other things going on...
Part II: Sunday my Daddy came over un-announced. I was taking a nap. He came and sat in the recliner and talked to Andy and watched the babies play and they watched "b0b the builder". When it was over Victor wanted to see it some more and Andy had to explain that there was no more, the show was over.
Part III: Monday night my Daddy showed up to Victor's party and he had a wrapped present --which I just knew that my mama had bought before and sent him over here with--It was a b0b the builder DVD.
Andy: Susan, your dad did that. You know that right? He went out and bought that Sunday after he was here.
Susan: Andy, do you really think that? My Daddy has never done that...Who do you think wrapped it? Mama is gone...
Later, my mama told me that my Daddy had indeed gone out and bought that DVD for Victor and he called her at the cottage to ask her where the wrapping paper was so he could wrap it.