Monday, November 29, 2010


So, over Thanksgiving Andy was gone.
We had a lot of fun.
Full days...and FULL nights!!
Full of nightmares, vomiting, stomach fireballs {mine}, coughing, nightmares....{no sleep}.
Last night when Andy got home he was exhausted.
Last night when Andy got home, I was exhausted.
This morning, after I stayed awake half the night, and woke up {sort of}
on the sofa, cold...I determined that today would have to be a mental health day.
Children went to school and to Camelia's (which they loved btw).
Andy went to school.
I stayed ON THE COUCH.
My mama brought me my favorite sandwich which I ate ON THE COUCH.
I watched all of my "Mommy shows"
I took a nap.
I took a HOT BATH...did my nails..all 20 off them {poor toes}.
Then at 3:00 I left the house to see my Mama for about 10 minutes.
Came home...and get ready....
Cleaned up!  It was irresistible.
Eva is staying with Andy's mama.
So, Elena and I cleaned out all of the toys and reorganized.
Then, Elena and Victor and Andy and I put the Christmas tree up....It is gorgeous...

Remind me to tell y'all about --the three year old in my house..and the day of raking...
Right now I am off to bad worry, no stomach fireballs, no crying baby--she
is at Andy's mama's house. ;).

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The one I want...

There is a little girl at school.
She is pitiful.
I want her.
I want her to come home with me and I want her to be my child.
Last year, everyone knew this, and an incident happened that was sort of a
{straw that broke the camel's back} for DSS--which means
something TERRIBLE happened at her house.
You all might remember the story about when I went to the house
where all the little boys in diapers came out barefooted to greet me--four of them--
in their November, in the cold!!.these are her little nephews and her little brothers..
I want her to be mine.
I love her.
In the night I wake up and I worry about her.
There is an interesting story.  Her mother and father both live in the house.
They have no bath tub..but they are bathed. (in the sink I guess?)
They sleep on dirty mattresses  in the hall--I have seen the mattresses.
They have a closet with a lock on the {inside} to hide in for when bad guys come.  She tells me
all about it.
And the time when the Police took them to the hotel--so they would be safe--and they got
ice in their sodas...

When the social worker called me and said, "were you serious when you said you wanted ___ and ____?"
I had to say, "yes, but what i want and what I can actually do, are two very different things..i have a husband and three children, and almost no money, and one bathroom!"  She said, "okay."  No judgments--I could tell...
Then she said to her husband, "We are taking these girls..."  Just like that a STATEMENT.  No request.
No question.
DSS said no.  They said if she could not take all of the children...she could not take two.
So there they all sit.
It breaks my heart.
I want her.
I want her to be mine.
She knows. :)
I do not tell her this... that would be confusing and cruel.  But we all love on her.
We buy her books, clothes.
All the buying in the world, on our part, cannot change what will become of her....

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Common Theme..

I have seen and read about this in several different places today.
After all the excitement and getting ready in the morning....the kids, by lunch time,
they are all partied out already!
It happened here too. :)


The book fair was at Eastern Elementary the other week.
When the book fair comes I get a little crazy.
Let's just say it takes me back.  And since I work with children every day, and since I have three...
Well, when the book fair comes I just live vicariously.
This is the first year that one of my actual children has been at school with me.
So when it was parent night and she got to go in a pick out a book--well, we were both pretty excited.
I just let her pick out whatever she book and one for her sister and one for Victor.
Well, the one she picked surprised me.
It is not pink, or Fancy Nancy, no Pinkalicious....
She picked the National Geographic Facts book!  Yippie!  Be still my heart!
Andy and I have managed to produce {hopefully} a fellow nerd. ;).
She has carried that book everywhere she has gone since she got it.

Last night we had a little topical index sesh.  She was all into picking out  a word and looking it
up to see if there were any facts in her book about that topic.
I must say seeing her do this is really endearing to reminds me of well..... {ME}!

Okay, this nerdy mama is off to warsh and then cook a bird. :)

Oh, no wait, I have to procrastinate for one more story.
The other night I had a nerd sesh on my Nook and I looked up my mama's family name--
Dewar--the author who came up was named George Albemarle Bertie Dewar.
Whoa --talk about a name! (I bet his children wore some big ole hairbows)
Well, it turns out he was some English nobleman and that he really like to write books.
It also turns out that he is not related to me -- hee hee. :)
But his writings are interesting--I guess if you were a nobleperson it was pretty easy to get published in the early 1900's.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

you can go back...

i am not sure if anyone else does this...or if this happens to other people...
but sometimes scents and sounds and sights just take you back.
sometimes the scenes you go back to in your mind are so sweet...
just neutral..but back nonetheless.
The other day at church and when we were getting in the car the smell in the air took me
back to being in Sevilla in the fall that i was there.
I would love to know which scent it was...what was it?
I have never had that here.  The air was damp and fresh at the same time, but it instantly took
me back.  Some smell registered itself deep in my brain..right behind my nose, {actually} hee hee..
Sometimes there is a song.  These are more predictable, and one can do this on purpose.
Certain ones take me to my friend Sara's big bedroom with the wood floors and our cigarette
smoke in high school...and listening to music, and trying on clothes, and talking...
Other ones go right back to when I was little.
Last night Andy and I watched videos of our children from the past two years.
Oh how dear!  Those can {almost} take you back.  They are more reminders of
how your children looked or what they were doing..
I am thinking, right now, that scent is the thing that takes us back the most, and in the
most sincere way, and uncontrollably.
What is bad is when we go back to some emotion or situation that was not the best, and
all sorts of feelings are conjured up.  I do not do this happens by accident {usually}
or maybe PMS causes it...
That does happen, though, no?

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
I have spent this week planning cooking...which I love to do, but can't do well
anymore b/c my mama always gives us her extras.
I have also been explaining the {real} story according to {me} about the Indians...
It trips my children out...Who do we  believe??? ...ahhhhh...Mama or our {teacher}???
I tell can believe whichever, really..Mine is the {truth.}  Andy smirks. ;).
This afternoon in the car Victor asked me, "mama, why did the pilgrims kill the Indians?"
I said, "oh, b/c people can be mean as hell, Victor."
"oh, okay," he said.

Nighty Night...happy eating!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday Drives

I think I have done this post before....
One thing is for sure, I will not link back to that post, b/c I do not know how. ;).
BUT today Elena and Victor and I went riding with my Daddy.
We went to see my Aunt Joyce and take her some pine cones.
We rode by all kinds of stuff...his deer stand, the house he grew up in from
the fifth grade until he graduated from highschool,
the spot where the house was where he was born, the all of the fields and farms
he used to work on --"I bailed hay there, I used to pull corn out there, one summer I tended that farm.."
He can go on and on.
The spot where my grandaddy and got in a wreck and his brother (my grandaddy's) was killed, the spot
where the bridge is over a creek where he used to fish, the spot
where there used to be a little store, where he would go to get a drink (like pepsi--we don't say
"soda" around here).
Anyway, when we got to the house that is still standing that he actually lived  in, Elena's eyes got as big
as fifty cent pieces!--The house is a shack---no paint--it is falling in...falling down you cannot
go into it.
We looked into the house from outside..."There was the that a toilet inside there? (I
thought he was going to go in and get that..) I know we sure didn't have one..."
So my Daddy and at least four of his siblings at any given time and his mama and daddy lived in that house.
I WAS REALLY WISHING for my camera! --It is impressive to see...
It made a big impression on Elena..
Then we went on to see my Aunt Joyce.
She is my Daddy's older sister and she is losing it a bit...she is a bit senile we think.
But today she got right up, she got out old picture books and she started looking through them with me.
This was a treasured moment, b/c sometimes she does not know who we are anymore.

Okay--enough..I am off to read. :)

Monday, November 15, 2010

weekend {away}

So this weekend Andy and I went to the beach...just us.
We met friends and stayed at the beach cottage.  They were running the 1/2 marathon.
We were not. :)
We had a blast on Friday afternoon.
We went to a bar and had a drink--no worries, no hurries...then we talked
and hung out together all afternoon.
Then on Saturday we both realized that we missed our children.
It was an {almost panicky} kind of miss.
We did have fun all weekend.
I watched a movie, I read....I shopped.
We all went out to eat together TWO TIMES.
BUT--on Sunday we were ready to come home!  We missed the babes.

I am very interested, now, to know--or discover--how the people feel who are able to leave their children more regularly for vacations.
We all talk about wanting one...but do we really?
I am thinking, now, that I actually don't.
I know people who go off with regularity without their children.
They take vacations for three or four days...more than once a year, and travel farther than just two
hours away to the family beach house...
I have always thought that I would like this...but would I?  Could I?  Could we?  Andy shared my sentiments.

Ahhhhh...parenthood. :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Tracks in the...{dirt}

So this
afternoon we all went out to the woods behind our house for little walk.
Andy is so good about reminding us that we all need to get outside...
These are the tracks we found in the dirt that is the {last little patch of dirt} before you hit
the grass coming into our yard.
I have BIG FEET.  I took this picture for perspective.  I wear a size 10 (11) shoe.
My boots are at least a foot long.
These are bear prints.
Victor found them and we were all so excited! :)
I have always known there were bears in {our woods}..they were actually
Grandma Eva's listed by a realtor. :(.

Anyway, the walk was wonderful.  Eva rode in the backpack carrier and she enjoyed every minute of it.

Friday, November 5, 2010


The children had a ton of fun
trick or treating this year!
It was cooler this year...not the 90 degrees of last oct.
Andy was here this year...and we went with friends--not the mama sola trapsing around the hood.
AND Eva was able to come..oh! and don't forget my jeans were not {as tight}...which for all you moms out there means--I was a bit happier b/c having a hunk of fat hanging over your too tight jeans as you walk around in the 90 degree weather...well, it it not fun...
So back to fun:
We got lots of candy.
The kids were brave enough to run up to the doors by themselves...FUN!
ummm....we are almost finished eating all the candy. ;).

Tuesday, November 2, 2010