Friday, October 29, 2010

Cool Blog in Sidebar

IF you are into downtown Durham...that is.. :)
I have a soft spot in my heart for Durham....
ohhh  awww.....

Here is a picture--that I took from that blog--which that blog got from a newspaper...
The picture is of a service station near where Andy and I used to live.
It is basically in ruins now--although, it might be about to get a new do--
I love, love, love this building!  Look at the cool roof...awww...the little service windows.
I always had so many dreams and plans for it when I was running, jogging, walking the dog, strolling the baby...I would just go by it and dream about cool things that could happen there!
Check that blog out!
This post was from June 17th 2008.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

couldn't resist...

I have tried to resist posting this of the videos is full of images of pills...which that IS what the song is about--duh...but there is just something to all of this.
I know of very few mothers around me each day who do not have some form of "mother's little helper"
Today, in the depths of PMS--I was really thinking...there has got to be some relief from this feeling.

Just to TRY to describe what it is like....
I want to go into a sensory deprivation chamber --I want to listen to NO ONE.  No one asking, no one telling, no one commenting.
I want to be touched by NO ONE (except my mom's hugs).
Sleep--forget it...crazy thoughts prevail...totally crazy!
I do not want to smell anything, or hear anything.
Even looking at stuff can get on my nerves.
So this seems like I am having a hypersensitivity know--everything is getting on my NERVES!!!

Today at school several of my colleagues weighed in --of course these were ones who I am also friends with.
They all had pharmaceutical remedies to suggest.
None of which are really options for me.
So this afternoon I asked Camelia (maybe there is some ancient Mexican remedy she knows of) ...
I asked, "you know, the week before your period....Do you feel really angry, sensitive, mean, tired, sad, weepy etc?"
She said, "Oh yeah! ... :) she grins all the time..."  I said, "Oh, okay, so what do you do?"
"she said..oh, pues, nada..."
I just do nothing...

my remedy from last month--you might be  wondering about that--if you are still reading..
Well, I think I was not on top of it this time.
I need to be more in tune to my {cravings} next month.

Does anyone remember Mr. Wilson's {nerve pills} from Dennis the Menace?
I wonder what those were?
No play dates for me tomorrow!  I would definitely get myself into trouble!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

al fin

se murio la reina...
la mataron con the guillotine..
I kept wanting the book to turn into one of those choose your adventure ones..
Then I could pick the route where Marie Antoinette says, "oh, to hell with my fat slob husband, I am getting the heck up outta here!"
But no, history is history...and she suffered an ill fate at the end.

Andy says...but think about all those around her who were starving and do you think they
all got so mad?
BUT she was the heroine.


We all got up....I got everyone ready for church---no time to'll get a snack there!
Come on!
I cried--almost every Sunday this happens--will God forgive me when I get there?
Will my children?
What do they think when I get to Church...all dolled up--and I have my {game face} on?
I bet they {get it} already....

Sunday afternoon--Andy and Elena are at the Soccer field.  Victor and I are resting, while Eva naps...
our bellies our full....our duties are fullfilled..
Victor goes outside to play..and then he comes to me with a box of treasures...
"Thethe are the things God gibs uth Mommy."
"I found you a boxth of treasures"
"Thee?" (See?)


Monday, October 25, 2010

So long...Antoinette

After this Marie Antoinette book, I am finished with my obsession.
It is too tragic, the whole story....
It makes me nervous, and anxious...
I guess it's back to US weekly, shopaholic...and this free stash of books I just found
beside my bead that includes..Nora {Roberts?}, and some other much heard of's who I have
never read...

Maybe it will all be lighthearted.

Oh! and when I was doing my Mega Googling to find out {ALL I COULD} about good ole Marie...
I discovered that her ancestor--Carlos V de Spain...his lower jaw was deformed --all that inbreeding supposedly...and he could hardly chew his food....YIkes! (I do not remember this from all those portraits of him in museums btw)...anyway..he had lots of indigestion.
{Poor} guy

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Shopping {vicariously}

So my {salt} friend and I had a shopping trip was full of laughs, bathroom emergencies, nursing the baby all over the mall, and more laughs...and SPENDING MONEY.
Now, since Andy and I have no money, the money spender was Sissy.
She had a fun time!
We both just went in every store she wanted to go into and she tried on and tried on and tried on...I was the public relations girl, the hang it up girl, and the hold the baby girl...which was all fine with me as long as I had my spiced chai ice storm from Nordstrom, and my stroll through the Nordstrom's shoe dept.
Sissy came away with:
Two pairs of boots
A pair of designer jeans--the reallyhhhiilllyy expensive ones
about six or seven shirts
some camis--which, much to my chagrin will NOT go away (should we really agree to buying three shirts just to get one?) {down girl, down}
Gifts for Caroline's birthday
I think that is all.

Elena and I got boots, haircut, and camis--Elena was not with me--btw, she was playing soccer.
We came home exhausted!

Friday, October 22, 2010

When Washington is fun

So tonight Andy and I went out with all three children to {dar un paseo}.  We went out to Music in the Streets.
It was fun.
not {fun}, sino, fun.

We walked up and down Main Street--which was closed to traffic--and socialized and looked at stuff, and listened to music.
This is something that has been happening for several years here now, and it is fun.
It always happens on Friday nights, and there are bands and musicians all up and down the road.
All of the businesses stay open and you can browse etc.
We have two restaurants down there that were open!--Yippie!
They were so full that no one else could get in there to eat---particularly not a couple with three children.
So we ended up behind someone's bar eating a barbeque plate--they were cooking a pig behind the coffee shop.
Eva is the hambone--she was a live wire...her usual bedtime is 6:30--tonight at 6:30 she was dancing to music in the road and playing peek-a-boo with my friend.
We left at 8:00.

In other places around--well, everywhere I guess--people do stuff like this all the time.
Here in the l-dubs people don't do stuff like this...hang out in the road talking.
At 8:30 here on any {normal} night--there are not even any cars on the road--and that is not an exaggeration.
So we will be going out to Music in the streets again--I think the last time we went was the Summer of 2008.
I posted about it...Victor had a melt down about his ice cream melting....

Current obsession

Marie Antoinette

I am copying my sister {some things never change}.
She has been obsessed for years.
Now --thanks to her loaning me all of her {stuff}--I can obsess too.
How to have  {proper} obsession Lara/Susan style?
Well, you read all the books you can about something.
Watch a couple movies, and google {research} the topic a lot.
Then, when you have a listening ear--like your sister's --you tell her all you can.
Not in a bragging way, sino, in a guess what, this is so cool! kind of way.

So I am on the first book--see sidebar--and it is absolutely captivating.
On to the recipe for obsession:
Then you hang pictures on your wall that make you think about the topic, then you plan a trip {which will be
dreaming} to go and see the stuff...

Genes are crazy things! :)--Sometimes my sister and I are so much alike --even though we are also like night and day.  We are very alike in our nerdiness styles---although she likes formal academics way more than I do...that is why she attends school perpetually.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Girl's night out

Tonight was it.
The third Thursday of the month.
It is really sort of a social club thing.
All the ladies...we go to a restaurant..or to someone's house..whatever our nerves can take.
Tonight I did not want to go.
I went anyway.
Andy convinced me!
It was soooooo worth it.
whew...I needed a moment to vent, and to have fun, and to talk to girlfriends...
Fun. :)

On to other matters---check the sidebar for the post about European men.
When I was in Spain..I was TALLER than all the men.
When I rode the bus and held on to the overhead bar--they came up to my armpits.
I was WAY FATTER than the women--who only smoked and drank coffee from what I could tell.
AND I was too sloppy...
The men there were prissier than me...and for me--that is a no-go.
If you smell higher than a Georgia pine, have shiny shoes, and tight jeans on...
Well, I am just not even interested...not even just to see if I can.
I like stinky, not prissy, boot wearing men.
So I guess I could sum this up by saying--who cares?  European women, can have the
European men. ;).

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Suzuki {more}

Okay, so I have read this book (see sidebar) by Shinichi Suzuki and there were so many wonderful tidbits in it.
I will share two of them here:
These are quotations from his book.  I did not say this, Dr. Suzuki said this.
**There are many insensitive people in the world and many people think nothing of wounding the heart of another person in public.  When ugly words are said to someone, he will become angry.  If a person could feel the hurt and anger in another, he would not say such ugly words. He also quotes a musician named Leopold Stokowski as saying, "My life philosophy is not to hurt anyone, therefore not hurting my own heart."
*There are some people whose only ability is to display anger and their facial expressions always look angry. Such people may start by becoming angry only occasionally, but eventually as they scold more often, it becomes a habit to be angry. The habitually angry person is a habitual scolder and his face colors with anger at the smallest things.  What an unhappy person.
He goes on to explain how he trained himself not to become angry....usually anger was arising because of some other real emotion--nervousness, embarrassment, sadness etc.
This all struck a chord with me (pun intended we are talking about a musician here) :) ...
I do anger easily...I anger around my children frequently...hmmm...
Now, I do have a game with myself...let's see... are you being mean, mama?
why, mama?--(I am stressed, in a hurry etc)
Then I decide --I will laugh, or I will make a joke, or at least just calm down.
Dr. Suzuki made himself a sticker chart (like we do for children)

This is a good book...
I really do recommend it.

Nighty night...I am off to read my latest book --from my sister about Marie Antionette!  What a find!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Really good teacher gifts....feel free to add more...

Gift certificates to a spa
Gift certificates to restaurants
Items that are personal that you know they would love--like if they love their dog...something for the dog
That is about my list, really.
I just think that if you go in with someone---you can get the teacher something they will love.
One time Sissy and I went in together...we spent 20 dollars each (there was only one teacher back then)
and we got a forty dollar gift certificate for Elena's teacher...
It was to a cool shop here in town.
She was able to pick something cool out for herself.

This year, I have no idea what the gift will be--I am not seeing a lifestyle grant anywhere in my future.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Must buys.... is a MUST BUY for the Halloween--Fall season...get ready Morgan and Melissa....
Little Debbie pumpkin delights...oh yeah!! Good Lord--that is a good cookie...
the kind that makes me wanna hide and eat the whole box. --stuff my mouth full by eating the
whole thing in only two just wait til PMS rolls around again.....just wait!

And another must buy..some boots!
I want some of the shoe boots ones... (Like I had in the fifth grade) ha!
Andy has reminded me that for the rest of the month we TECHNICALLY do not even have money for food.
I would like to officially apply for what I would call a lifestyle grant.
It would be a large sum of money that would last me until next July.
With this money I would buy myself clothes, facials, shoes, and clothes for my children, and
teacher gifts (good ones), and date nights, and books for my nook, and a light fixture that I want.
Who might be giving out lifestyle grants...hmmm...someone who loves me very much..
who is not Andy--who actually has money to give...
I got ! GRANDMA!
So as soon as she gets back from her {escape} beach trip--I might just propose this idea to her.
I am thinking that my application might get turned down...guess I'll have to just hold out until....

(I wonder if that shopaholic book rubbed off on me????) Good lord this was a pretty {wanty} post.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fighting it

Today at church it was my turn to keep the nursery.
Sometimes the nursery at church seems to be a gathering place---eek!
What a terrible place for people to pick to gather.
I understand why it happens..but that does not mean my nerves can handle it.
The elderly like to admire the babies.
The big kids like to admire the babies...well, i guess everyone likes to admire the babies.

Today a man in our church came in and sat and sat  and sat--I guess he did not want to go to Sunday school?
Maybe he just wanted to visit???
Who knows..his foster child was in there--being babysat.
He started talking about all the money and vouchers and money and vouchers he gets for being a foster parent.
I am not sure why he wanted to talk about all this.
But, I found it hard to fight the aspect of my personality that wanted to inquire and engage him in discussion.
The other two women in the room did not want to...
But some part of me could not fight it.
I just kept asking questions....commenting...
The problem with all of this is, I am opinionated, and I get all wryled up (not spelled correctly).
It bothers me that people make all these babies and then the gov't pays for all the babies that
people who are irresponsible to not take care bothers me for their babies, and for my own.
{It takes my paycheck}
What I forget is that the other two ladies in the room {probably} do not care what I think.
Also, the man speaking does not...he also does not need my interaction.  He would have discussed this
topic regardless of whether I was engaged in conversation with him.
This is what he wanted to talk about--he would have  just talked and talked.  I did not need to even
say anything...
But I could not fight it...

Ugh.... Oh Silence why hast thou forsaken me! ;).

So then, I just called Sissy to vent, and then I vented to Andy--they made me feel better.
One day I will not only know to just shut up....I will be able to actually do it.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

fotos--for your viewing pleasure

Some of these truly deserve to be picnicked and to have a cute border and caption..but
it's Thursday, and I am tired!!! :)
Silly Hair in the tub...this baby loves a bath more than any other I have ever known...she basically will not skip a night.

 This was the day with all the rain, we were going to a play date, and before the play date we made
coffee cake--from the Pioneer Woman's blog btw--check out that recipe--Hello! Yummy! So then all the babies washed dishes...these types of images stay in somewhere in my head....and they take my breath away...Did I really push all of these babies out and nurse them for a year each.... Ay que sweet!
 I take this shot b/c this is how I see it...I did not add the one Andy took with my big ole behind in it. ;).
 This is our backyard during the rained and it rained and it rained... In the background is a large ditch, it goes into a creek.  There are large swampy areas in the woods behind our house...big dips with cypress trees etc...well these are full now so that means--hello swarms of mosquitos...welcome, yes, we have your blood...
 This is me and my Daddy at a cookout...and Eva--she is Grandaddy's girl-- :).
It does not look like it in this picture--but she really takes to my daddy...
This is the funny hair do I do when we take a bath...V-man will have none of this silliness..but the
girls--they love it! Eva does not even know what I have done....I think it is fun!  I have to snap it quickly b/c Elena's hair will not stand up long.

have a great weekend! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes...

I work with small children...very young...only up to first graders..
Here are things I have heard in my small groups in the past three days...

"My sister, she beat her baby" (The baby, by the way, is two weeks old)
"Dis is how she shake her baby"--The sister, by the way, is 15....

Has your heart dropped yet?  Mine keeps going...

Hit--this was a simple word we were sounding out...
This is what I heard blurted out..
"Da Mama, she hit her baby!"  That is a sentence with hit (At this point I had to stop and give a small talk about what types of sentences could be shared in my group).  This was a different group, too, than the above group.

It keeps going....
One girl has told me "Mrs. Hill, my bottom be hurtin me today.." {Yikes} She blurted this out right on the sidewalk...which was fine--she did go to the doctor and she is fine --lest ye all be worrying.
ummm...let's see, what else...
Oh, and when we were going over /s/ blends---there was a picture of a stamp.
The child said "Picture".
I said, "Yes, this could be a picture, but it is a stamp.  Do you know what a stamp is?"
"Oh Yeah, "  she said, "Das wha you have to use whe(n) you mail a letter like to someone in jail!"

Be still my heart --it is beating irregularly a this point...

This all came from four different students in three days..

Where is superman??? --In jail?  hmm???.... I can tell you one thing, most of my students at school sure
do not have a super(anyone) looking after them at home.

Does it ever amaze anyone else the lengths human beings will go to to rescue one another, and at the other end of the spectrum how absolutely terribly many humans treat our very own children?
Do you ever wonder why there are no stories in the news about how little parents do for/with the children they are {blessed} with...when there are SO MANY stories about how TERRIBLE teachers are etc.?

In case you are wondering:  Yes, I have called DSS several times this week.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Yesterday was homecoming here in the LDubs... (Little Washington's nickname among my contemporaries).
On the spur of the moment we decided to go to the homecoming parade.
I have been caught in these (believe it or not) the past two years...
It happened like this..I needed something downtown, and without realizing it was homecoming parade time I ended up on Mainstreet--and ooohhh!! Here comes a parade! OH!

Well, yesterday we went down there on purpose.
Watching "all the pretty homecoming queens" on their cars...really made me think...
Let's see in Middle school I watched this and {hoped} to get to do that one day --Look beautiful on the back of the car (a cool convertible) with my boyfriend driving me...
In High School--I got to!
Yesterday we were..... take a guess--what Sissy and Lynn and I did while we watched the parade...
We babysitter shopped!! HA!
There we were, with our children on the curb eating ice cream ...looking at the pretty girls ...commenting..
"Oh, yeah..I heard she is a good babysitter..oh and she lives right down the road from better call her, and then --Oh!  that is the one who has the business cards!"
It was a hoot! :)
It was also a beautiful afternoon...all of the little children sitting on the curb--was a sight to see...(I wish I would have had the camera!)
Victor's comment was, "Mama, dat parade was NOT totally awesome--becauthe they did not even trow candy!"

Friday, October 8, 2010


Yesterday I heard something from my children that I have not heard yet.  It was a first.
It was this: "I am going to make a sign that says, 'Victor is not allowed in my room.'"
(Insert the sound of my heart beginning to break into tiny little chips that are falling right off the side...a teeny bit)
I was a little sister.
When my sister did this to me when I was little --it broke my heart.
I just wanted to do whatever she was doing--even if she was being mean and bossy...
When she excluded me it was the most dejected feeling...she was the buddy I got to take for
But I also learned something very important being the little sister who was cast aside. It was this:
Well to hell with you then...I will just go and play in my own room.
I had to learn this lesson.
You see, if she knew she was breaking my heart--it made the exclusion that much sweeter.
I did not know this as a child--I just knew that my mama told me--
"Oh, Susan, it's okay sweetheart...don't let her bothah you, it doesn't mattah...just go and play your own game"
This was definitely a lesson that was good to learn.  I have used it all my life... .
You don't wanna be around me--well fine...I will just go and play my own game (even if it is by myself)...
It has kept me out of a lot of trouble.

So back to my own children.  Something happens...
It could be:
1.  A child learns to make a sign
2.  A child really wants to be left alone
(both of those are okay reasons in my mind)
3. A child wants to exclude another--for some feeling they get from being exclusive...

So interesting to me is this idea of exclusivity...adults do it too, {of course}.
More on that later....
Yesterday, I just told Elena --how to make the sign...
Then I suggested that keeping your siblings on your side is a good idea...and maybe it would
be better to exclude someone who is not a member of our family.
I can't bear to see Victor's dejected face....

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The sound of silence....

So, on the first Tues. night of every month I go to Circle meetings.
Church ladies....doing church lady stuff, and organizing ourselves to get it all done...

Those of you who know me personally know:
1.  I like to get stuff done
2.  I like to be around people

If you read my blog you know:
1.  I am constantly re-discovering that I am terrible working on {committees}
2.  I am practicing silence these days on all committee type activities...that's talking.
{put a sock in it, Susan}

So, tonight was probably my best one yet.
I bet I only said three snippets the whole time--two were social snippets--so those do not really
count--I was not being opinionated --I was simply visiting.
The other WAS AN IDEA/opinion..which was immediately shot down by the person in charge...

so there you have it...the reason not to {share} at meetings....

So, did you ever wonder how the brass chancel rail at church gets cleaned, or how the Chrismon Tree gets put up and expertly decorated?, or how those beautiful flowers appear on the alter each Sunday, or how these great bake sales happen..... I'll give you a hint...XX.
That is what we organize and talk about at the Circle meeting.... And please keep in mind that I am
not trivializing any of the above important happenings...

I just think it is interesting that I am discovering how little so few have to say in order for it all to happen....
really I don't do much either to be honest..the ones who talk a lot--also do a whole bunch....

Live and learn, no? :)
Good night!